ON BIRYANI KA ALOO AND OTHER THINGS UNSAID

Baklol

/bʌklɒl/

adjective, informal noun

A stupid person.

It is generally used by the people of Bihar and Eastern Uttar Pradesh in India.

***

We would look at the world together, but did we see each other in our worlds?

I still stare at the world move by past me. I see so many things. I see what life could have been if we both were looking at it together. I see that I stare alone now.

What do you see when you look around? Do you see me around? Do you want to see me around?

***

I tried walking out into the world again. It took a while to build the pace. Baby steps. The hesitations of moving on bore heavy on my mind, but one cannot wait forever! It was nice to know that I can do it all over again.

I came. I saw. I conquered.

I threw the trophy away.

I didn’t want it anymore.

***

Everybody knows where they don’t want to eat; nobody knows where they want to eat! However, there is that moment when you crave for that ice cream or that scrumptious cake — or, as it is in my case — the aloo of the Kolkata wala biryani. And it is in that moment – when you have realised – what you want, and when you get it – do you realise how much you love it. The unabashed satisfaction that fills you up; it is the most amazing feeling of them all.

***

I still can’t move on. I tried. I really did. In fact, the more I tried, the more I realised that these things are complicated and that I am really shallow to grasp the depth of the complexities of human relationships.

When I see the world around me, I see a moderately happy set up where I am standing alone. There are pretty people. There are smart people. They are all there somewhere in the periphery. But, where are you?

It took me so long, to arrange every single thing into perspective, and then when I looked at the picture again, it was missing you.

***

Not many people like to see an aloo in their biryani. But, I like it. That piece of potato is a reminder that not everything needs to be done by the rules. Your biryani needn’t be the most perfectly cooked one – from Lucknow or Hyderabad; sometimes, it’s just the one from Kolkata – where a poor Nawab had no resources to buy meat and decided to put in some potatoes instead.

I don’t really know if the Nawab really ever liked it, but I guess he sort of made peace with it. It is just a potato after all, but it balances out the heat of the spices, adds a bit of sweetness and gives a nice soft bite. It makes a poor man’s biryani look fuller and loaded. It was never meant to be perfect; it was meant to work well – and boy, it did!

***

I don’t want them pretty. I don’t want them smart. Heck! I don’t even want them perfect. The choices that matter are the ones not made out of knowing what you don’t want; they are made when you know what you want. And, I just want to act silly, make lame jokes, and say something stupidly provocative. Because, when I do that, you look at me with an “is-he-for-real” look, and then you blurt, “baklol!”

I want that.

I want my biryani ka aloo!

*** *** ***


These things shall always remain unsaid because we decided to not talk about certain things. There is so much that I want to say, but I won't because I do not want to stress you out. Sometimes, I don't even know what we can talk about anymore. But hey! We can eat. So, when we are eating the sushi (and I enjoy sushi a lot!), let us at least think if we want that aloo in the biryani. You can have the rice and the meat. I will be happy if I just get my aloo.