THE INDIAN ENTROPY

Source: nicholsoncartoons.com.au 

Does anyone in this Country know what the hell is actually happening??

The Prime Minister might know, but he won’t tell. Rather, I must say that he will not speak! He has gone into such a silent spell, that the news channels are searching for file footages of him speaking to play on their shows.

So… Who knows?

“The Arnab Goswami” seems to know it all.

He knows so much that he speaks for a good one hour on a show where he invites 6 other panelists – who for that matter do not get a chance to speak at all! He speaks so much, that he gives a good sound scolding to 3 Pakistani officials, who for some obscure reason even agreed to come to his show to defend Pakistan. And then he scolds them so hard that their bums glow red with all the beating that they just endured!

Yes Arnab… India demands an answer! So puhleez… will you let those fellow answer at least!

Now… The Defence Minister does not know anything and that is for sure.

He says that persons dressed in Pakistani Army Uniform came in and killed our Soldiers. While the Army says it was Pakistani Armed Forces who infiltrated… Then they both realise they made a boo-boo and the army makes a sorry face and agrees to go with whatever the Minister said.

Ooooh!

And that is not all; the Honourable Minister then gives a clarification saying that he will make another statement after being briefed by the Army Chief. This turns out to be a bigger boo-boo, as now the opposition wants to eat him up by asking that did he make the earlier statement without looking into any reports?

But I hardly blame him! When we have leaders who say that it is possible to have a full fledged meal for Rupees 12… or for Rupees 5… or… Wait for it… Rupee ONE!!! We can hardly blame him the Minister for not being completely in tune with the State of Affairs of this Nation.

Fortunately, he did not say that those infiltrators were people who were so obsessed and Bollywood that their love for the Khans and Kapoors drove them to cross the border!

Now. Don’t laugh! I only made this point because on 14^th July 2013, The DNA (Daily News and Analysis) carried a story of 3 Chinese who were caught while crossing the border in Leh and it seems that they were inspired to jump the line because of their love for Shahrukh and Hrithik!!!

Way to go Bollywood!

And this gets even better. The newspaper reported that 3 Chinese said that they were very poor and wanted to come to India because they had seen India as a land of opportunity and prosperity on the silver screen.

Oink!!

This is what happens when the likes of Karan Johar make movies! This is also why we need to make more movies that glorify the Indian Poverty… that BTW might also fetch us some Oscars!

All hail Slumdog Millionaire!

Now, we have digressed way too much. So back to the point… Does the opposition know anything in this country?

Oh yes! They know how to disrupt the functioning of the Parliament on every single thing… and with all valid reasons of course! I mean there are loads of valid reasons floating around, and each so valid that they deserve a chance to create such a chaos that important bills are never passed… each reason so important that for them our Parliament has to look like a gigantic circus of monkeys!

And why do I say “Circus”?

Because, while the NDA and the UPA were too busy dismissing each other on a television debate (and this was not managed by “The Arnab”), there was this Pakistani gentleman who actually said that he enjoyed the “circus” of the Indian Politicians!

If he had stopped there, it would have been still fine, but he went on to say that he thought such a sorry state of politics was only seen in Pakistan, and he was quite amused at the way Indian politicians turned everything into a big blunder!

Ouch! Right where it hurts the most!

So, is there anyone who knows, what is happening in this country?

A friend of mine, most cynically says that he knows… and whatever that is happening can be summed up in one word – ENTROPY!

I gleefully smile and reply that calling it Entropy would be an understatement!

Meanwhile I do know that 5 Indian families are in mourning… and while our leaders should be avenging the deaths, they are too busy throwing each other in the mud, without realising that in doing so, they themselves are getting dirty

THE CREATION OF POPCORN

Yet another picture story! 
But honestly speaking, I so wish to write something about what is happening at our borders.

But I am too tired to pen down something serious.

So I leave you with this to ponder upon…

THE STORY OF “THAT” WHITE SHIRT

Image source: casualgaming.bmoviefilmvault.com

This is not a piece of literature! This is a piece of me venting out all my frustration! So bear with me!

*****

Tell me about shopping!

Because I can’t!

Well. At least, not any more!

Now, don’t get me all wrong here. If you think I am that typical guy who hates shopping and has no patience when all the women in my life go to malls and I stand cribbing in one corner… Hold your nails right there! That is my Dad! And although I might look like him… I am more like my Mother!!!

Thanks to the demi-aristocratic society that surrounds me, and where everyone thinks they will be in page three, shopping was an essential part of growing up… with all the parties and blah blah blah!

But today was beyond limits!!

Well, all thanks to my lovely Dad who wanted “THAT” one white shirt… Now, what do you mean by “THAT” white shirt? Well, for a man who hates shopping from the core of his heart, my father turns out to be a shop attendant’s nightmare by being a bit too particular about what he wants! First, he does not come with my mother and me to the mall and then he gives us more than elaborate instruction of what he needs. Which is: “THAT” one white shirt which he liked “THAT” time.

Yea Dad!! You are the Miranda Priestly and I am Andrea!!!

(For those who did not understand the last line, it was a reference to the movie The Devil Wears Prada)

So, Mommy and me hit off to search for “THAT” white shirt… which we found after exactly after 3 hours and 45 minutes of rampaging through every shop over three floors!

So what was “THAT” white shirt?

It turned out to be a double ply thread woven cotton shirt with single cuff link. And in “snow white” colour!

SNOW WHITE!!

SERIOUSLY!!!

If we did not have enough problems in this world already, the companies have actually managed to invent 28 different shades of white!!! I mean, how much different can white be!!!!

And for all those hopeless shop-o-philes, if you want “THAT” white shirt go visit Zodiac! They have walls full of all types of white. And while you are at it, also please nominate them for the Nobel Peace Prize for contributing to so much of world peace with all that white!!!!

And if that shirt was not enough, has the entire world gone mad? Is a shopping mall the only place left in the city to hang out? What’s with all that crowd!!! If we were at war and there was a bomb shelter, even that would draw less people. First, you have the hassle of security at the gate and thanks to the throngs of people who drop in for touching everything in a mall… it takes ages to get in! And once you are in, it takes ages to find your way through the circus!!

People! Go get a life! Go read books and visit museums! Or sit by the Ganges! There are places outside the glass façade of a mall! Go there!!! I hate this lot for whom a city is nothing but a bunch of malls!! You live in Kolkata… a city that has so much of history and heritage… and all you want to see is a mall? SERIOUSLY!!! 

And if that were not all, God help you if you decided to go to buy groceries! With this being the first Saturday of the month, and so close to the payday, every one buys stuff as if food will no longer be sold for the next few years!

I saw this man pushing three shopping-carts full of edibles! Now, either he was hosting a marriage party or he was one of those hoarders we keep hearing about in the news... Amidst all the traffic jam of shopping-carts and the fight for the last remaining packet of Tortillas, I finally managed to reach the billing counter only to be dissuaded again by the never-ending queue… And I mean it quite literally. Because by the time, you reach the counter, you become best buddies with the person standing behind you (in my case a lovely French lady who was equally flustered with all this commotion!)

And what is with me and the French??!!! Why is it that wherever I go, I find French people!! Why can’t they be British or Dutch or Japanese!!! Or Chinese!! There are over a billion Chinese in this Earth and I never manage to run into even one. With all the French I find it so hard to keep a straight face while they talk. And of course I don’t laugh ‘coz I don’t want them to feel bad!!!

And if that was not all, the family of the Commissioner of Police decided to drop in to the mall too, resulting in humongous police presence outside the mall, which scared all the taxi drivers like sh** and they refused to stop and take passengers!

And finally, when you do get home after the exhausting 7 long hours of the hounding experience, dear Daddy says, “He could have got 4 better white shirts for the price of “THAT” one white shirt!”

Yes, I am angry! Very very Angry!